Fantastical BDSM
“But how is it real?”
If you ask me, one of the most interesting things BDSM theorists can concern themselves with is the fantasy-reality dichotomy. This problem is at the core of how BDSM participants communicate about their practices, and I have yet to see a satisfying response to this issue.
The fantasy-reality issue
In short, the problem can be exemplified as follows: when a BDSM scene is categorized as sexist/racist/abusive etc, most BDSM participants would argue that that is only what the scene looks like, but the sexism/racism/abuse is not real: it’s a fantasy. On the other hand, when engaged in a scene, the “harmful acts” do have a strong effect on the bottom and feel absolutely real. They are real, visible acts. They take place in the physical world. And they have long term effects, whether these be harmful or beneficial. So: BDSM is described as both real and not-real.
Why this is interesting is that, as I said, the problem is at the heart of how BDSM is represented and contextualized. It is one of the bases on which BDSM advocates build their claims to legitimacy. (e.g. rape should not be condoned, but race play scenes in the BDSM context should not be persecuted.) Therefore, any solution to this problem could have far-reaching consequences for representations, advocacy and discourse around BDSM. The issue is not a new one, it has been recorded in academic literature since the 1970s. And for fifty years, this fantasy-reality problem has gone unsolved.
And here we are…
Now, if you know me, you know that I am ambitious. And a fifty-year old issue at the heart of BDSM advocacy turned out to be exactly the kind of thing I like to chew on for years on end (you first have to soften it in your mouth, before you can digest). And that’s what I’ve been doing. For the past three years I’ve been chewing on this issue, and it seems like I am getting close to an answer. Pretty exciting, eh?